Sometimes during a long offseason, you need to throw off the shackles of trivia, nonsense and offseason pickup videos in which no really he’s really-really-really in the best shape of his life and talk about the important things like whether bald players are better, and who are the best bald Wizards/Bullets in franchise history.

That’s what Ron Oakes-Cunningham and I did in this episode of the #SoWizards podcast.

The “rule” for the conversation was to include only what players did while playing for this franchise. So, Michael Jordan may be The GOAT, but for this exercise he gets credit only for what he did in Washington.

Also, “bald” didn’t just mean “shaved head” but included male pattern baldness, and in one case, receding hairline. We also had one All-Bald member (Caron Butler) whose hair was ultra-short though arguably not quite bald. We discussed the issue and ultimately decided he should be considered bald for this exercise.

The All-Bald Starting Five

• G — Gus Williams (balding)
• G — Michael Jordan
• F — Chris Webber
• F — Caron Butler
• C — Marcin Gortat

All-Bald Reserves

• G — Scott Skiles (balding)
• G — Jerry Stackhouse
• F — Michael Smith
• F — Antawn Jamison
• C — Brendan Haywood
• C — Ben Wallace
• C — Emeka Okafor

The All-Had-Hair Starting Five

• G — Gilbert Arenas
• G — John Wall
• F — Elvin Hayes
• F — Greg Ballard
• C — Wes Unseld

All-Had-Hair Reserves

• G — Bradley Beal
• G — Larry Hughes
• F — Bob Dandridge
• F — Mitch Kupchack
• C — Moses Malone
• G — Rod Strickland
• C — Walt Bellamy

And now to the critical question: Which team wins? Ron says All-Bald. I say All-Had-Hair. Vote below.

Listen here, below or wherever you get your podcasts.

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